THE FLAME-O. The flame-o is a pyrotechnic act. The performer takes about an ounce of charcoal lighter fluid into his mouth. (Gulf Lite is the best. No naphtha.) At the same time an unfolded pack of matches is lit to act as a pilot light. You hold the matches about a foot from your mouth and spray the lighter fluid in a coarse mist. Done right the result is about a 6 foot torch. Done indoors at night, it produces an impressive gust of heat and great orange and blue flames.

BAKED TOMATO PARMESAN - Take a tomato and lop off the top about 2/3 the way up. Use the tops for something else. Top the bottom with grated Parmesan or Romano. Bake. Get the cheese melted, but don't over do as the tomato will turn to mush. Every entree at the Red Lion Inn in Boulder Canyon used to get one.

One night in 1973, I think, Spyder Sabitch and Claudine Longet came to dinner at the Red Lion. I was just a lowly bus dog that night. It happened that Spyder was friends with one of the waiters named Kevin McMann. Spyder sat on one side of the dining room, while Kevin worked his station on the other side. There was some pre-dinner horsing around.

When the lovely couple's dinners came up on the line, Kevin intercepted them. He took the tomato parmesan, scooped out some of the flesh without disturbing the top and filled it with about three tablespoons of Tabasco. It was served. Spyder lived large. He cut the tomato in half and popped a whole half in his mouth and chomped down.

When Spyder got back from the bathroom he corralled his waiter and ordered a cruet of Gulf Lite. It was served, along with a pack of matches. He was going to "flame-o" Kevin's butt. Spyder got the matches ready, put the fluid in his mouth and got ready.

He decided that the fastest way to get to Kevin was across the tops of the tables! He stood on his chair, skipped to the top of table 16, and was on his way. His flight across the dining room was interrupted by a ceiling beam. It caught him flush on the forehead. Spyder performed a 1/4 gainer and crashed heavily. He did not burn, however, because he swallowed the lighter fluid!

The staff got him back in the kitchen where Francis daubed at his head and clucked disapproval at such antics. Spyder was looking pretty shaky and produced a couple of belches that smelled like a jet taking off. Kevin and Claudine took him back to Boulder Community Hospital where he got a bandaid and a stomach pumping.

He never did get to finish dinner.